So, in true Simmons fashion, he's shoved his selections into a sidebar at the bottom of the column, as if folks will forget about his awfulness in the face of arrogant boasting if he does so. Oh, who am I kidding, Sports Guy fanboys have the attention span of gnats and the dudebro fantasies of #GamerGaters, so they're surely thrilled that their idol is doing the thinking for them. Plus, how can you pass up getting to read Simmons' 78th take on a rivalry so thrilling that no one has any profound to say about the topic? As for me, I'm just a masochist...
Are Manning and Brady Cheating? How Rule Changes Have Helped Extend a Rivalry
Did you enjoy the misleading headline we came up with to generate traffic and rig Google results, only it’s a complete misrepresentation from what I wrote this week? What a farce, right? We’ll never do that again, right?
I won't write hackish gambling articles and then ignore the awful results, right? It's a legitimate journalistic technique to pretend to ask oneself questions to fill column space, right?
Websites rarely pulled those shenanigans in 2002, but in 2014, they do it all the time. Things evolve … and conversely, things devolve. Just look at football.
Forced analogy is forced. I'll admit that this is one of my favorite aspects of Simmons' columns, though, as I'm truly interested in seeing just how ridiculously off-base he can get with his comparisons. "Whether it be backlash to Obamacare, the looming threat of ISIS, and the current hysteria over Ebola, these have not been the easiest months for our President. Jay Cutler knows Obama's pain all too well, as..."
Earlier this century, ESPN’s NFL studio show aired a weekly segment called “Jacked Up” that celebrated every time a player got demolished by a tackle.
And still would be if those meddlin' former players with CTE didn't complain!
Earlier this century, NFL fans believed you won Super Bowls with defense and running backs.
First off, the only people who were espousing the opinion that running the ball down opponents' throat is the key to success are coaches and players who had been out of the league since 1985. No reasonable fan or analyst was stupid enough to hold this notion true, meaning that you're ascribing the mindsight of Dan Dierdorf to the rest of us. Don't. Secondly, save for the second of the two Giants/Patriots Super Bowls, each of the other title contests since 2000 have pitted teams with at least passable defenses, including some amazing units like the 2000 Ravens, 2002 Buccaneers, and 2013 Seahawks. Any catch-all "requirement" for championship worthiness is bound to be wrong at some point, but writing in this fashion makes it sound like the correct way to win the Super Bowl is via offense - this just none months after Denver's historically dominant unit got abused.
Earlier this century, an NFL commissioner suspended a player two games for knocking his fiancée out cold in an elevator, then changed the length of that suspension a few weeks later without any new facts and without anyone thinking this was illegal.
The only thing sadder than this running "gag" is that I'm 100% certain that Bill is grinning at his cleverness while penning these "zingers."
Fine, that last example didn’t work. The point is — THINGS CHANGE.
"When I started FJMing this column, I didn't like you very much...and I still don't. Screw change!"
www.jabootu.net
www.jabootu.net
So when I receive a mailbag question like this one from RK in Nashville:
“How about Collinsworth’s quote in MMQB? ‘Here’s the amazing thing about Peyton Manning: He’s an ascending player at the age of, what, 38 years old? I have never seen a great player on that level ascending at that age.’ If this quote doesn’t make the mailbag then that tells me your testicles are resting in a glass jar and being guarded somewhere in Bristol.”
… part of me wants to defend the immortal Mr. Manning, part of me cringes at the thought of my testicles living in a glass jar, part of me cringes for the security guard in this scenario, and part of me wants me to click over to Baseball-Reference.com to confirm that, yes, 38-year-old Barry Bonds DID hit a career-high .370 with 46 homers and a 1.381 OPS.
Cris Collinsworth is totally right. He’s also totally wrong.
Unless he'd made that statement about Kobe Bryant or Alex Rodriguez.
Peyton Manning IS getting better at playing regular-season professional football. Check out his pre-2013 career highs for every major passing category versus his numbers in 2013 and 2014 (through seven games):
Highs: 4,700 yards, 49 TDs, 9 INTs, 9.17 YPA, 87.2 QBR, 121.1 rating.2013: 5,477 yards, 55 TDs, 10 INTs, 8.32 YPA, 82.9 QBR, 115.1 rating.2014: 2,134 yards, 22 TDs, 3 INTs, 8.47 YPA, 90.1 QBR, 119.0 rating.
But Manning is also getting worse at playing football. His post-surgery noodle arm transformed into Greg Maddux The QB — less velocity, better precision. He paints the plate with every throw. He keeps defying his aging body’s inherent limitations. It’s been astounding to watch.
Besides perpetuating the myth that Greg Maddux didn't possess great stuff, it's pretty funny to say that someone is getting "worse" simply because he doesn't throw as hard as he once did; this moments after showing that this new version of Manning is actually better than the iteration from his days with the Colts.
We beat every story line into the ground these days,
Says the guy who chose to write about the one NFL storyline that everyone else did this week,
to the point that we can’t even see some of them clearly because we spent so much time beating them. Just look at LeBron’s “homecoming,” relentlessly marketed as a back-to-Cleveland decision when it was really a basketball decision. (Anyone who thinks LeBron was “coming home” in his prime to a team that didn’t have Kevin Love and/or a chance to win titles immediately is fooling themselves.)
Wow, dropping some truth bombs there, Bill. Fun Fact: Great athlete wants to play on a good team.
In Manning’s case, his triumphant return from four neck surgeries was beaten into the ground, but now it’s glossed over because everyone already knows the story. He’s not the same physically, and it just doesn’t matter.
Unless you're claiming that it makes him "worse" than he was as you did just a few lines earlier.
At least in the regular season.
So why does it SEEM like Peyton Manning is still “ascending,” as Collinsworth said?
Because he keeps playing better, as you just noted above?
Because the rules kept drifting in his favor, yet another sports topic that was pummeled into the ground and now gets taken for granted.
Oh, of course. Now we can whip out the "Bill Polian rigged things to benefit Peyton and screw over the Pats," another narrative that has been run into the ground.
You can’t hit QBs high, you can’t hit QBs low, you can’t hit QBs within 0.25 seconds after they’ve released the football, and it’s unclear whether you can even make a mean face at them. Remember when QBs were injured all the time? Remember when you NEEDED a backup QB? These are better and safer times — and they should be — but quarterbacks don’t get injured anymore unless it’s a freak injury (RG3 earlier this season), a freak hit (Romo on Monday night) or an unexpected concussion (which we’re diagnosing much better these days).
As opposed to all other quarterback injuries throughout time that occurred, in predictable fashion, at that, one direct hits. Also, Vinny Testaverde missed an entire year after blowing out his ACL while backpedaling after a handoff, Tom Brady's injury came on a flukish low hit, and Trent Green's career was effectively ended by a concussion. It's almost as if quarterbacks were hurt in these ways all the time since the sport began.
You also can’t handcheck receivers, touch them after five yards, head-hunt over the middle or hit them when they’re defenseless. It’s much, much, much easier to throw and catch the football.
Check this out:
I'll save you time and simply note that more quarterbacks are throwing for big yards than they did in the past. Still waiting to see when Brady gets tossed in here given that said rule changes are what directly led to his major numbers over the years.
ESPN’s QBR:
Hahahahaha, nope.
The performances of 38-year-old Barry Bonds and so many other baseball stars from that era were enhanced because, you know, they took performance enhancers. Maybe it didn’t totally make sense in the moment. And maybe we were worried someone was going to grow Jay Leno’s chin or break out the first ever size-12 baseball cap. But it certainly makes sense after the fact.
This is such painful "logic." All pro athletes take some form of performance enhancers, whether it be painkillers or banned substances like steroids, as they won't otherwise get through the rigors of their season without them. However, holding up the outliers as proof that PED are magic pills that immediately grant superpowers is why this idiotic narrative won't die.
The recent performances of Manning and Brady (one year younger) have been enhanced in a different way.
It's due to the fact that each had career-saving surgery to repair injuries that would have ended Y.A. Tittle's career, right?
Passing rules changed so dramatically that it threw everyone’s numbers out of whack.
Of course not, let's ignore that contributing factor since it doesn't fit into this particular storyline.
Imagine figuring out the last eight years of NBA numbers if, in 2006, the league moved the 3-point line to 20 feet, allowed offensive goaltending and made it legal to take three steps after a dribble. (Well, MORE legal.)
So, it's FIBA?
That’s basically what happened in the NFL. Just look at the best Brady/Manning seasons in three-year quadrants:
Goodbye, gratuitous column filler.
Instead of PEDs, they were injecting QB-friendly rules into their bodies.
They each also had major surgery to save their respective careers. But just like Derek Jeter and the Pope, I can say with certainty that neither ever used PED! And I base this on absolutely nothing.
And it has reinvented a rivalry that …
A. Would have gone down as the NFL’s Russell-Chamberlain battle even if Manning retired in 2011.
I was thinking more Larry-Magic or LeBron-Skip Bayless, but I like your line of thinkin'!
B. Has seen both players grab the invisible “lead” multiple times.
Invisible points and victories sound like actual forms of cheating. Show us the tapes, Goodell!
C. Means infinitely more to fans and media members then it does to either of them. (I wrote about that theme in the 2010 season.)
Thanks for including the punchline for me, Bill.
I'm going to skip over the detailing of how Manning is currently "ahead" of Brady in this stupid race to the top of some imaginary ladder and chop out a few unnecessary lines in order to get to a point where this really turns. Those who have read Simmons' stuff from the start know that he is, at heart, a misogynist. From repeatedly savaging the WNBA for no reason to calling the majority of female characters in sports movies soulless harpies to this abomination, there's no shortage of evidence that this is a man who holds women in quite low regard. Nonetheless, one wouldn't expect sexism to play a factor in this debate, would you?
And in my opinion, he could have kept the belt had he been wired just a little differently.(WARNING! One of my ridiculous theories is coming.)(Repeat: It’s just a theory. Brace yourself.)
Note to self: If you have to issues two disclaimers before offering blazing hot take, it might be a better idea to keep it to yourself.
Growing up, Manning was the son of a famous QB, the overachieving middle brother, the eventual golden boy, someone who always had something to prove. Ever seen three little brothers hanging out together? They’re fighting and competing all the time. It never ends. It’s a constant battle for the upper hand. Eventually, one of them wins it. That was Peyton.
The same Peyton Manning who said that he always looked up to oldest brother Cooper? Let's ignore that since Peyton's the most famous of the trio!
And by all accounts, everyone loves working with him. He’s a great teammate. But he’s also in charge. All the time. That was Wes Welker’s biggest takeaway after playing with Brady and Manning. He told friends that while both players were incredible — for many of the same reasons (work ethic, competitiveness, likability, etc.) — he couldn’t believe how in charge Manning is. In New England, Bill Belichick’s fingerprints were everywhere; Brady had significant input, but still, he worked for Belichick (and not vice versa). In Denver, Manning’s fingerprints are everywhere. He tells the front office what he needs/wants; he tells the offensive coordinator what system he wants to run; he runs meetings; he orders people around in the locker room; he does everything. Welker, who always bristled at Belichick’s authoritarian nature, wondered if the Patriots would be better off had Brady been given that same leadership leash.
If there's anyone who will offer forth an unbiased opinion, it's a guy who left New England bitter over not being treated as though he was the Patriots' answer to Calvin Johnson.
Then again, you have to fight for that level of input. And Brady grew up differently than Manning … as the baby brother of three older sisters.
Repeat: THREE OLDER SISTERS.
Even the most amateur of psychologists are shaking their heads when they realize where this is going.
I have two children — a 9½-year-old daughter and a son who turns 7 this weekend. My daughter OWNS my son. They might be best friends, but they do what she wants to do 95 percent of the time. She orders him around like they’ve been married for 30 years. And it’s not just my house — I am still waiting to meet the family with the older daughter or daughters whose youngest son runs the show.
Newsflash: Older siblings afforded more opportunities than younger siblings!
Doesn’t make the son less competitive.
That's what you're insinuating.
Doesn’t mean he has a greater chance of failing as an athlete.
That's also what you're insinuating.
Just means that, fundamentally, he spent the majority of his time agreeing, nodding and following. If you’re a little boy with an older sister, she owns your ass.
As a boy growing up with two younger sisters, I can attest to the fact that I was the non-parent who was most in charge. Don't want to get in the way of your fantasy world in which this is a one-way street, though.
(See? I told you this was one of my most ludicrous theories! I swear, I believe in this one 100 percent.)
Because you're the kind of person who would fit in well in #GamerGate, a pissed off wannabe alpha male who thinks that women are all trying to snip off your balls and control your lives, but instead claims that this section is all about ethics in football journalism.
But THREE older sisters who also happened to be terrific at sports? According to a 2012 Yahoo.com piece called “Sister Pact,” Brady remembers, “They were the best athletes in my house — certainly a better athlete than I ever was. I just loved tagging along and I was living and dying with every loss they had.” Read that Yahoo piece and you come away thinking, Wow, that’s really the All-American family. But could you say that Brady, for 15 seasons and counting in New England, is still tagging along to some degree?
He's a surefire HOF'er with an MVP and five trips to the Super Bowl, so I'm going to go with "No." Also, why do you keep capitalizing "three"? Is it to beat into the heads of your simple-minded readership just how many horrible women kept poor Tommy down?
If you believe Belichick and Bob Kraft took the Brady era for granted — especially these last few years — you wouldn’t be wrong.
Yes you would.
Because they did.
Nope. Skipping ahead here, as Simmons tries to make it seem like Brady not throwing a hissy fit whenever New England allowed massively overrated players like Deion Branch and Welker get away seem as though it was a character flaw. When listing the many draft picks used on offensive players who didn't pan out, there's so sense of irony that it comes while claiming that the club never truly tried to get Brady extra weapons. Except, you know, for all the occasions in which they did.
The bizarre set of circumstances from 2013 (the Amendola-for-Welker switcheroo, Gronk’s body breaking down twice, Hernandez going to jail) left Brady effectively weaponless again, even after he signed for less money under the assumption they’d spend the extra money on help.
So, Brady had a Welker clone ready to replace the departed wideout, plus a pair of ridiculously dominant tight ends, yet the club should've acquired more receivers for big money? You said yourself that the only reason why a great receiving corps was depleted was due to a pair of injuries and Aaron Hernandez getting charged with murder. Way to not see all of that coming, Belichick!
So, Brady had a Welker clone ready to replace the departed wideout, plus a pair of ridiculously dominant tight ends, yet the club should've acquired more receivers for big money? You said yourself that the only reason why a great receiving corps was depleted was due to a pair of injuries and Aaron Hernandez getting charged with murder. Way to not see all of that coming, Belichick!
That’s where we are right now. And so it’s difficult to compare Brady’s career and Manning’s career for two reasons that even the world’s biggest Manning fan would concede. First, Manning spent his first 12 seasons playing every home game indoors. (I was too lazy to look this up, but I’d bet anything that Manning played at least 100 more dome games than Brady during their careers, and Brady played at least 60-65 more cold-weather games than Manning did.)
If only you ran a large website that employs interns who could help in this endeavor. This could be a fun game, though. I'll concede your point about Brady if you acknowledge my equally made-up "stat" that Manning had to avoid 60-65 more instances of a drunken Jim Irsay nearly crashing into him with a medical cart.
We start getting into real column-padding at this point, including a year-by-year comparison of each QB's "weapons," then further slamming Brady for not being a mouthy enough asshole (due to his harpy sisters, no doubt!), as if that's a bad thing.
But getting the question asked — that’s what he wanted. He just wanted it out there.
I NEVER HAVE ENOUGH HELP. I START FROM SCRATCH EVERY FREAKING SEASON. I AM 37 YEARS OLD. MY WINDOW IS CLOSING ON ME. I’M NOT THE ONE PASSING 506 TOUCHDOWNS THIS WEEKEND FOR A VERY SPECIFIC REASON.
Probably not the week to have faux-Brady complain about passing stats given that he just shredded the Bears for 354 yards and 5 TD on 30-35 passing, numbers that would've blown away Ben Roethlisberger's had New England needed to pass the ball at all in the second half.
He would never say ANY of that. For a lot of reasons — he’s a good guy, he’s a great teammate, he doesn’t want to undermine the team in any way, he wants everyone around him to think that they’re better than everyone else, and also, he’s the youngest brother of three sisters and he’s just tagging along.
Honestly, screw you for this horseshit line of reasoning. Besides the blatant and constant sexist undertones you're pushing, don't you think that there's another real reason why Brady doesn't push back against Belichick? Could it be, oh, I don't know, that basically anyone who challenges the man in the hoodie gets shipped out on the first boat to Shanghai? I mean, the Pats acquired Darrelle Revis this offseason and Belichick had zero qualms about going to the press to note that the CB had been late to a meeting. Great quarterback or not, Brady would not win a war of wills against a control freak who gives zero shits. Seems to me like he's smart in not rocking the ship.
Meanwhile, the Broncos lost Eric Decker in free agency last spring. What happened? They went out and signed Emmanuel Sanders. He’s been fantastic. Why spend on Sanders with the Thomases (Julius and Demaryius) coming up for massive extensions? Two reasons …
Intellectually dishonest point right off the bat given that the Thomases are NOT being paid big money yet, so said spending to keep them hasn't happened. It might, but the Manning-led Colts allowed Edgerrin James to leave, so let's not act like anything's set in stone.
Reason No. 1: Denver’s window with Manning could end anytime. Like, tomorrow. Like, five minutes from now. Who knows? He’s 38.
As opposed to the Patriots, which are helmed by an able-bodied 23-year old and not a 37-year old playing his 14th full season, one of which was lost due to a blown knee.
Reason No. 2: Because Peyton Manning — at age fucking 38, after four neck surgeries, with Father Time eyeballing him 24/7 — wasn’t going to accept replacing Decker with someone who wasn’t a sure thing.
Sanders entered this season having caught 57.9% of his career targets. Sure thing, though.
So the Broncos signed Sanders, while the Patriots landed Brandon LaFell for exactly half the money: three years, $9 million, $3 million guaranteed. That’s a classic Belichick move — always do what’s best for your cap and your future, no matter what — and if Brady hadn’t kept rolling over publicly like he had these past 10 years, maybe he’d have Sanders instead of LaFell right now (yes, I am fully aware that LaFell has looked terrific lately).
Are you sure, because it really sounds like you think that he's horrible when, like Sanders, LaFell has translated his incredible athleticism into major production simply by getting to play with a more accurate passer.
Are you sure, because it really sounds like you think that he's horrible when, like Sanders, LaFell has translated his incredible athleticism into major production simply by getting to play with a more accurate passer.
It’s weird to complain about a Belichick-Brady regime that’s been so absurdly successful.
For a normal person capable of gratitude, yes, that would be the case.
And with that said … I can’t believe how strangely they’ve handled the final trimester of Brady’s career. Odds are, we (and I’m using “we” because I have loved this team since I was 4 years old and Randy Vataha and Mack Herron were scurrying around, so if you have a problem with that, I don’t care) will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER have another quarterback like this again.
These obscure names prove what a real fan I am! No one denies this!
He’s also 37. With 201 regular-season games, 26 playoff games and one reconstructive knee surgery under his belt.
These obscure names prove what a real fan I am! No one denies this!
He’s also 37. With 201 regular-season games, 26 playoff games and one reconstructive knee surgery under his belt.
Stop stealing my material.
And I get it. I get that Belichick’s philosophy looks something like this …
Rule No. 1: Never stack the deck for any one season.Rule No. 2: Never become too attached to a player.Rule No. 3: Always flip an asset into a better asset.Rule No. 4: Always sell high.Rule No. 5: Build your 53.Rule No. 6: Try to win 11 to 13 games year after year after year.
Never attempt to act like an actual human being. Always fabricate ailments for the weekly injury report. If you're going to cuckold, cuckold with the best of them.
He’s never bottoming out. He’s never enduring one of those 2011 Colts seasons, where everything collapses just because of one injury.
Unless Brady were to have been hurt last season rather than in 2008 when Matt Cassel was experienced. I'm pretty sure that Ryan Mallett would have delivered plenty of Gabbert-esque highlights as the Dolphins won the division.
Of all the achievements that make him most proud, I’d bet winning 11 games with Matt Freaking Cassel ranks right up there. Belichick lost one of the best quarterbacks of all time, in his prime, not even nine minutes into Week 1. AND HE STILL WON 11 GAMES.
Unless Brady were to have been hurt last season rather than in 2008 when Matt Cassel was experienced. I'm pretty sure that Ryan Mallett would have delivered plenty of Gabbert-esque highlights as the Dolphins won the division.
Of all the achievements that make him most proud, I’d bet winning 11 games with Matt Freaking Cassel ranks right up there. Belichick lost one of the best quarterbacks of all time, in his prime, not even nine minutes into Week 1. AND HE STILL WON 11 GAMES.
Simmons earlier noted that the 2008 Pats were loaded offensively, but let's ignore that for idol worshiping.
Belichick knows the NFL playoffs are a total crapshoot.
I'm sorry, that's incorrect. We would have accepted MLB or NHL, but not a league where the home team has won 63% of postseason contests, easily besting the "one and done" aspect that could otherwise turn such a playoff setup into said crapshoot.
He probably did the math and figured out that eight teams can win the Super Bowl every year; he just wants to be one of the eight. It worked in 2001, 2003 and 2004. It almost worked in 2007 and 2011. It’s simple math, and it makes total sense.
And none of that is even close to being the truth, but thanks for playing. Plus, if the playoffs are a crapshoot, wouldn't all 12 teams be capable of winning it all? I seem to remember a few wild card squads finding recent success.
Skipping ahead again here, as Simmons begins to repeat himself about Belichick 'screwing over' Brady (including pulling a Peter King and showing 20/20 draft pick hindsight) before yet another piece of unnoticed irony when he mentions my earlier point about how losing Amendola, Gronkowski, and Hernandez for large stretches of time completely skews the narrative.
Of course, they could keep playing and playing and playing, maybe even for the rest of this decade, if only because of the rules. I met Manning at the 2014 ESPYS, talked to him and his wife for a few minutes and eventually asked him about that.
I know famous people!
How many more years do you think you have in you?
The short answer: He didn’t know.
Dear god, is PK actually writing this column, too?!
Dirk Nowitzki mentioned that same stay-or-go reason on one of my podcasts once. And Steve Nash, too.
Oh, do famous basketball players not come on your podcast? A pity, they're great guys and some of my closest friends.
I spent maybe eight minutes with Manning, but my takeaway was that as soon as that alarm clock goes off and he’s lying in bed, with his body aching, with all of these records already in hand, wondering why it’s even worth it — that’s when Peyton Manning will quit football.
Wait for it.
Tom Brady? Now that’s a slightly different story. He has played 43 fewer games than Manning. He’s one year younger. By all accounts, he lives and breathes football and that’s it.
As opposed to Peyton Manning, the guy who everyone says studies film tape as a hobby and is better equipped to be a head coach than 90% of the guys in charge right now? How is Brady mentioned as a football nut, but not Manning?
Doesn’t have any other hobbies or vices.
Apparently filming Papa John's commercials qualifies as a hobby.
One night earlier this year, I ran into friends in New York who happened to be with Julian Edelman.
Might I say that this is the grittiest name-drop thus far?
I asked him how long Brady could keep playing, and without hesitation, Edelman said, “As long as he wants.”
“Like, 43?”
Edelman nodded. He described Brady as a “football machine,” adding, “He’s in bed by eight thirty every night!” He had never seen anything like Tom Brady. He couldn’t imagine Brady NOT playing football. Six more years, at least. That’s what he believed.
(And yes, Edelman re-signed with the Patriots just a few weeks later. Let’s just say I wasn’t surprised.)
I think I think.
If Brady played into his early forties, that would mean he was cheating — and by “cheating,” I mean “cheating Father Time.”
Oh, right, the totally clever headline from which this nonsense began.
Could a quarterback really play at an All-Pro level at 40 and beyond? Seems insane. Absolutely insane.
As insane as tackling this column two weeks in a row has proven to be...
Just make sure you don’t count out the little brother with three sisters yet.
But just make sure you attribute any perceived emotional failings on his part to those terrible women controlling his behavior. #FootballGamerGate
(And by the way — I’m picking the Pats on Sunday. 38-37. May the rivalry never end.)
Of course you are. I'd say that the column is done, but there's awfulness to be found in the picks, too.
WEEK 9 QUICK PICKS
Cards (+3) over COWBOYSJust a little too much “Here comes Brandon Weeden!” potential.
As opposed to Arizona, who has its own hobbled quarterback and is backed up by the legendary Drew Stanton.
CHIEFS (-10) over JetsNinety feet away. Happened to me in ’78. Yaz popped up. You never get over it. Regardless, hold your heads high, KC fans. Phenomenal run.
Thank goodness. Now Royals fans can rest easy in knowing that some asshole from Boston also knows their pain given that Red Sox player also fouled out to end a big game. Huge solace to the fanbase that hasn't won anything since 1985 that a guy who roots for a team with three WS titles since 2004 has praise for them.
Washington (+1) over VIKINGS
And hold your heads high, the 20 UT fans who still believed Colt McCoy might make it!
And hold your heads high, the 20 UT fans who still believed Colt McCoy might make it!
Have you heard from Washington fans? They were calling McCoy a franchise QB the moment that Pierre Garcon ran for a 70-yard TD on the QB's short toss to open his Week 7 relief appearance. There's plenty of delusion to go around here.
Rams (+10) over 49ERSToo many points. Although I did check to make sure Bumgarner wasn’t playing.
Topical! Also, totally nonsensical.
Chargers (+1.5) over DOLPHINSFeels like a “Phil Rivers is better than everyone else on the field” game. I’ve lost money on those games before. Not this time.
As if rooting against a prick like Philip Rivers wasn't enough reason for me to hope for a Miami win.
PATS (+3.5) over Broncos
Hey Patriots -- look at this line. NOBODY BELIEVES IN YOU.
Hey Patriots -- look at this line. NOBODY BELIEVES IN YOU.
Ravens (-1.5) over STEELERSAdam Schefter reported that Roger Goodell had to be “forced to testify” in Ray Rice’s hearing next week. So the current NFL commissioner re-suspended the same player for the same offense because of "new" evidence that the Ravens and the NFL reportedly had the entire time, refused to explain himself, and eventually had to be “forced” to testify in the corresponding investigation? That's weird, right?
Thank goodness Bill didn't grow up in a house of girls or else he might not constantly act like an overgrown child, am I right? True misogynists know what I'm talking about.
Colts (-3.5) over GIANTS
I’m not betting against great QB’s in night games anymore unless they’re going against another great QB. (Sorry, Eli.)
Oh, shitting the bed in the first half of a big game and then stat-padding after it's out of hand is the sign of an elite QB nowadays? Wow, things really do CHANGE.
I’m not betting against great QB’s in night games anymore unless they’re going against another great QB. (Sorry, Eli.)
Oh, shitting the bed in the first half of a big game and then stat-padding after it's out of hand is the sign of an elite QB nowadays? Wow, things really do CHANGE.
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